A.) I am coveting Craig's new cell phone--it has an alphabetic key pad. That is a feature I need, not him! The man had never sent a text message in all the 6 years he had his previous phone; received them, but never sent them.
B.) Al is dying to have a cell phone. It gets mentioned at least once a day. As we passed by them in Meijer's a couple days ago, he felt it necessary to point them out yet again, as if I had somehow forgotten the first 472 requests. His exact words were, "Don't we look good together?"
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
9 hours ago