As we're listening to the DJ on the radio spout out trivial factoids:
Al: "Hey, I learned something yesterday! "
Mom (bites tongue)
Al: Did you know that 80% of the lipstick women put on gets digested?
Me: No way, cant be that much.
Al: Yup. Why do women wear lipstick anyway?
Me: To make our lips pretty colors.
Al: Do y'all want your intestines to be pretty colors, too?
Murders and puppies and failed selfies.
13 hours ago