2/20/2009

Fit for a Princess

This is Princess's new clock she picked out since her clutzy mother has knocked her old one off the wall several times, bringing it ever closer to the brink of death with every fall, until she internally pulverized the poor thing. The instructions on this clock are even funnier than ABBA's non-directional directions on the lotion. Along with my editorial comments in parentheses:



PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:
WE CLAIMED THAT THIS TYPE OF CLOCK IS ORDINARY CLOCK, NOT TOYS FOR CHILDREN.
(Sounds like they're saying "We told you so")

1. How to Using?
1. Turn off two accessory first
2. Take clock out
( A. The "accessory"? That would be the 2 screws holding the clock onto the packaging.
B. These instructions were INSIDE the clock!)

2. How to Hanging?
1. ....
2. Find a truly vertical position on your wall
(as opposed to all those horizontal walls? Aren't those called floors?)

3. How to Cleaning?
1. Please be very cautious near the motor and heating elements
(Heating elements? Really? In a clock?)
2. ....
3. Never use Gasoline, Benzene or thinner. This will damage the surface.
(What the??? Who cleans their house with gasoline? No mention of how dangerous it would be to get gasoline near those 'heating elements'? )

9 comments:

Linda said...

A perfect clock for a princess. Throw away the directions!! *LOL*

Jenn Ann said...

Wow, this is what I miss out on by not reading instructions?!

Bianka said...

I love translated instructions!

Queen B said...

Love it...a high maintenance clock fit for a Princess :) I mean, really, a clock that can't be cleaned with gasoline...what a crazy concept!

Kim Thomas said...

My dad used to clean his hands with gasoline. He might still. This is a blog.

Andrea said...

I am going to have to curl into the fetal position and rock for a little while after reading these instructions. I can't believe ANYBODY would let something like that be published...

Ruthie Girl said...

Whatever happened to instructions you could use.

Jane: a female given name of English origin said...

Joel cleaned clocks with gasoline?? Odd

Anonymous said...

Another reason to buy American - while we still can. Or can we? Aunt Rae