Some of my family have accused me of not blogging about silly things I've done. Here's where I teach them that may be a good thing for them:
Al and I had a $1 bet. As we were leaving the optical shop (where he lost the bet), I said "Pay up" and I jokingly hold the dollar on my forehead while waiting for the elevator.
Al: I'll give you $2 to keep that on your forehead the rest of the day.
(get on elevator, man looks at me funny)
(exit building, another man looks at me funny)
Al: I'll give you another $2 if you smile at everyone that looks at you funny
(walk thru parking lot, grinning like an idiot)
(in the car)
Me: Wow, Al, is it going to be worth $4 more of your own money?
Al: No. I'll give you $1 just to buy you out of the plan.
Me: I'm so proud of you for bargain hunting.
(Al throws a dollar at me)
Al: I learned another lesson too. Gambling is stupid.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
9 hours ago